THE MASCARAS OF ALL TIME
Ok, there are many different kinds of mascara. But why do a lot of them kind of suck?
Welcome to my first post. I’m here to cultivate faves in the very high order of combatting consumption (believe it or not). I actually don’t want people to try all sorts of crap just for the sake of trying a new product. Been there, done that. I want to use this blog as sort of like a friend recommending things. I’m protesting against a climate constantly promoting useless, monotonous shit.
For my first post, I’ve chosen a pretty overdone topic, yes. But I have fallen victim year after year to the dreaded google search “best mascaras of [GIVEN YEAR]” because I just couldn’t find one I consistently liked, although many of gotten me through pivot moments of my life (examples: crying in high school, crying in college, crying).
My three ranking factors for mascara is its lengthening properties, its brush, and its staying power. Ideally, I’m looking for most clump-free and smudge-free here.
BEST OVER ALL:
Eyeko Beach Waterproof Mascara
OK this mascara slays. I keep this shit STOCKED. It typically sells for about $12-14, depending on where you get it. I got it from Amazon (sorry planet!). This is so bad but I have to confess I have slept in it before and worn it the entire second day, and there was like only 4 black crumbles. The pic to the right was taken on the day 2 in question.
The wand is great. It glides on the formula smoothly, which speaking of, isn’t clumpy but is thick enough that it holds the curl. I know everyone’s eyelashes are different, but this personally was the bombest.
2. NEXT BEST (FOR YOU):
GrandeLASH Intense Thickening Mascara
Ok ok wait! Don’t click away. I know it sounds like a gimmick, but I actually did notice less shedding when I wore this mascara. And the wand isn’t actually that clumpy— but unfortunately that ho will crumble after 5ish hours or so. But importantly, not smudge! Just kinda crumble. Not sure if it’s supposed to be waterproof or not but it seems to act like a waterproof one. But yeah, I guess it’s kind of good for your lashes?
3. BEST DRUGSTORE:
MAYBELLINE SKY HIGH (WATERPROOF)
Love her. She has her flaws, but this is definitely the best mascara you can get at a good price. The brush is ok, I think I’m not in love with it though because of the formula. I think this mascara holds up, with little-to-no smudging, BUT it does get flakey within an hour or so. I guess it went “viral”, or at the very least the small beauty corner of the internet’s perception of a micro-trend viral, at the end of 2022, but I think I decided to give it a try due to a friend’s recommendation. This is very much worth and more than it’s price.
4. ONE THAT MAKES ME MAD:
BENEFIT BETTER THAN SEX
omg. sorry to her, but this is the most overhyped mascara of my lifetime. It’s really not that terrible, but I swear this was in every top 10 best mascara list for a decade. I simply cannot stand the brush. There has to be some people this works for, but I’ve tried EVERY technique to apply this and it just clumps so bad and makes my lashes super thick and chunky. We are not looking for thick and chunky here. Listen, I’m typically all for thick- but not on my eyelashes girl!! I need to see!!
5. BANE OF MY CHILDHOOD:
ANY COLOR MAYBELLINE IN THIS TUBE
Sorry to give you whiplash, but this. Literally any Maybelline mascara in this tube with those bright ass colors. Calling all my gen z/millenial cross over generation folks (zillenial?) who were in middle school during the 2010s. It is a very exclusive club to be apart of (just kidding). But if you know, you know that every girl in school was using this and every beauty Youtuber in the US was pimping it out. When I finally picked a tube up from CVS with my summer job money, I was sorely disappointed. It just mega sucks, I am sorry.
Ok thank is all! Glad you got to enjoy my best list with a couple of duds listed at the end there for dramatic effect.
